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chin up.

I applied to a few places today in hopes of finding a job to get me some income. Went and dropped off a resume, cover letter, AND app to Z Gallerie in Santana Row. I asked if they were hiring but they said they "always accept applications" which I felt was this lady's way of saying "you're fucked, now piss off." Great.

Currently at Bellano now and I applied to A Dog's Life whilst having a cap and bagel. Besides this I found 2 listings on Craigslist for vet tech positions, one in Milpitas and the other in Sunnyvale. Sent out apps and we'll see what happens there I suppose. I don't really care to get back in that field again but hey, money is fuckin' money. Shit.

So I'll just sit and wait.


where are the five flowers?

oh how i loved the craziness of Decemberunderground. All of the insane random websites, calling strange phone numbers, and eventually meeting somewhere random to get passes to an AFI gig...how I wished I'd gotten one of those for free. Not that I didn't get into a show, but those little passes were darn pretty. I was rereading someone's blog about the whole ordeal and some of the suspense from those times slowly filled my heart. Oh how I yearn for that anxious feeling again.

I was going to make this a horribly depressing post...but the excitement from that blog just kind of dampened that to an extent. It's funny how I even take the time to post on here when I know that no one will read this, it matters to no one, and it's just purely for my own form of feeling fulfilled in some vain way.

Tomorrow I go in to have some of my flesh to be removed with cauldery. Joy. Hopefully it won't be that bad at all and I'll be able to do something more than just sit around all day. We will just have to wait and see.

To add onto the subject line of this post I have decided what to do with the start of my sleeve. I had already decided on adding flowers for both of my Grandmothers. The first was an orchid for my G'ma Yamaji (obviously my mother's side) and the other I thought of doing a bleeding heart for my G'ma Nolen. At this point I thought "what if I just did the five flowers." Considering that I could also use one of those for my other G'ma instead of the bleeding heart. So this would mean the grouping would have a rose, tulip, iris, lily, and a daisy. My G'ma Nolen loved iris' so that would be the replacement. Last I would just have to decide what I wanted them to look like. I'm thinking either bright and vibrant with remnants of snow and ice or ALL snow and ice colour scheme. I won't have the money for this for a long while so I have time to sketch and think it out.

Last thing on my list quickly.

Make appt to put in paper work for my AA
Get a job
buy PS3 immediately when Federal Tax return arrives
send in my State taxes


File 13

Last night was AMAZING. I heard File 13 for the second time ever and was smashed together with lots of fun people. Awesome. Also just so I don't forget, this is a comparison of last night's set list and the one from Petty.

Girls Not Grey
Leaving Song II
Too Shy To Scream
Kill Caustic
Love Is a Many Splendored Thing
Beautiful Thieves
Dancing Through Sunday
End Transmission
On The Arrow
6 to 8
Death of Seasons
Miss Murder
The Days of Phoenix
Love Like Winter
Silver and Cold

File 13
Leaving Song
On the Arrow
(Santa Cruz)

Torrey, my new lover.

This morning was totally awesome. Got up earlier than I needed to and had some coffee at home. Forgot to eat breakfast but got Lexi a walk before setting off to the Sharks practice downtown with Devin. DUUUUUDDDEEE, LOVED IT! For one, Nichol is a complete clown, hilARIOUS. I love watchin that man. Boyle was cute simply for the fact that he'd get bored and start hitting pucks around randomly while everyone was doing other things. Torrey was just a doll, he's good at that.

After practice Devin and I hit up Denny's for some good eatin and chatting. Lots on the subject on the trash problems of the world and how they could be solved with a Delorian. How the flux copassitor could be improved to take in more trash, converting so that trash would = go power and not just time travel.

Went home and sat around a bit and realized Torrey Mitchell was signing at the tank in like a few hours. So I grabbed my puck and head out. Chatted with a nice mom and her son who was about 12 or 13, an older gentleman, and a nice girl with her boyfriend. I got my white jersey signed and was able to steal a double-take from Torrey as I walked out. SWEET. He was looking awesomely cute and chillax wearing flip flops. Awesome.

I need to go out more and find these boys on the town. Fer serious. Tomorrow is AFI W00t! Sharkie eats my face on Saturday, YES! <3


AFI at the Phoenix was completely and utterly EPIC! I had a good time despite the fact that I had only rested up the day before only to feel twice as worse the day after hahaha. Being sick before a show sucks balls. Met up with Curt and said hi to Bella and saw Adam's gf, lil Asian TWIG wow. I thought I saw Lisa (MyFire) but didn't bother saying hi. Oh well. I had an excuse!

Hearing such a good mix of most of the albums was great. From "Love is a many splendoured thing" to "on the arrow" and "6 to 8" with "Wester" it was a brilliant night. I'm glad that I could bring Samantha out with to experience a small and very intimate show. I'm just sad that the crowd wasn't better. I mean it was all right....but not nearly as nuts as at Slims in 06.

Davey had a nice lil conversation about a dead cockroach which later we found out was a fake one someone had skatterd a BUNCH around the place. It was great though hearing him go on about how they didn't kill it and "it's on it's back, it died of natural causes." hahahaaha. He drank some coconut juice that from afar looked like Silk. Very interesting. The show got NUTS for "Days of the Phoenix" and I can't wait to enjoy the next show at the Catalyst and have my hockey date with Sharkie only days later.

I'm currently watching my second hockey game today, I think I'm getting ready for playoffs!!! Watched the AHL All Star game and USA lost in the shoot out to Canada. Oh well, good try boys! Our Sharks prospects were lookin' good out there with Rismiller though!

On a last thought this just shot into my brain not only hours ago. I was so much better off before him. I had a job, I was going to school, things were working out well. I was paying off bills and would've bought a bike and moved out. Since I met him I lost my job, got a horrible one, quit my job, moved back home, went back to school, and am still unemployed. Life sucks.


Crazy thing of the day. I started following Bret Hedican on Twitter the night of the Coyotes games this week. This of course was simply because his co-anchor was making fun of him for "tweeting" hahaha. Not only has he responded to my tweets more than once, but he's always super nice! New goal: ask him how to meet a hockey player X3


bear cubs can hurt people

Today feels like it was highly productive even though it probably wasn't. I didn't even get dressed and leave the house until after noon. However I DID buy more dog food for Lexi, successfully got a cheap frame for my Dad's print of me by Curt, got toothpaste and more mascara, and sat and used my shiny new Wacom tablet that Sean gave me for Christmas.

On the subject of the Wacom it's fucking difficult to get things done with it! I'm getting the hang of it but it'll take a long time for me to master using that thing. I got a pretty good result for a first try and am eager to learn this thing and get a good handle on it. I uploaded the painting of Calvin and Hobbes to Deviantart now that I've finally given it to Mike Shirley I don't have to worry about giving the pressie away early.

And with ALL this having been accomplished I still took Lexi on her walk. Go me! Keeping up with that resolution to walk her EVERYDAY weather permitting.



Here we are, day five of the new year and I think I'm doing pretty well. I helped out at the POOCH Hotel and made a lil money. Though it's gone already...but on necessity. Applied to American Apparel today and so we'll see what happens there. On top of this I've started cataloging again at Gpas. As long as I keep putting in the hours maybe I'll start etching away at that huge ass bill of mine that I'm so good at making bigger....

On top of all this I've done well keeping up with some of my small resolutions. I decided I'm not going to do any fast food this year (unless there's no option, e.g. out of town no option for cooking). The only acceptable thing is sandwiches, so Subway or Togo's. I've only really eaten things I've been making at home so far and I've been keeping up with making sure to get Lexi out everyday. She's loving it already and I know it's good to get me out of the house on my feet and not in my car driving on my lazy butt.

Only thing left to settle. I think it would be really awesome to go up to Vancouver to see one of the Olympic hockey games. Though it sounds like no one else is really interested :( At least I can watch them on tv...right?


want ad

i'm a sucker for a messy haired boy with a pretty smile. yeah he's gots to have ideas and he's got to have style.

a bbc, hockey watchin, AFI lovin, messy haired, quirky, spontaneously awesome man. DAMN! Someone find me one of David Tennant's twin!!!!!!!!!

nothing can stop us now

i gave boys another chance recently and wow, i totally regret it. so like i said in the last post, after i'd given up on a guy in my class in the beginning of the semester only now did he get the balls to try and even talk to me (over FB of all things). spent only 2 or 3 outings together. the first couple were fine with lots of chatting and coffee which led me to believe "hey, this guy actually has a lot of things in common with me. wow!" which slowly turned into "oh my gods he's way too affectionate really fast." i mean, i'm used to being like that but there's a degree of affection that i can deal with. the degree this was was insane! you don't tell someone that you had to restrain yourself some holding them or holding their hand etc etc. it's just makes me worry.

along the same lines of all that he had the same name as my last 2yr relationship which i wasn't keen on from the get go. every "Mike" i have EV-ER been with has always been a complete mistake. to this day i only know one or two completely sane Mike's and i <3 them to death. but man...when they're nutty or have issues it's HARDXCORE. this guy had the same "all i do is work, school, and i have no friends." but on top of this complex he blamed not having friends on himself and not being surprised that people "don't like him" and "he doesn't blame them." i mean come on, what kind of fucking attitude is that. if you're trying to go out with someone like me you need to A. have fucking balls 2. be CONFIDENT and c. just be fun. this guy was a COMPLETE downer. shit man.

needless to say i'm glad to be rid of that and i'm glad that things didn't progress very far before nipping it in the bud.

on the other side of things i should only need 2 more classes to complete an Art AA. YAY! i'll just do all the final finding out of things closer to next semester. trying to work on getting a part time job now espcially since i've racked up a bill on my credit card...yet again. boo. i can't stand living at home therefore i go out and spend money with Jess and Sam. eesh.

for the first time in almost 6yrs i saw Lexi pee whilst going dookie. it was a momentous event that i thought would never occur.

on the health side of things the thing i had been worried about will happen. i'm going to have a hunk of flesh removed by electro caudery on February 5th of next year. i'm hoping that it won't be as horrible as i'm thinking it will and from the nurses i've talked to it really isn't that bad. so i'm trying to be optimistic.

i'm still getting texts from Kraut from time to time...i've only recently actually answered one after about 2 months of not answering at all. i dunno what to make of it since he'd text and i'd never answer. what was the motivation to keep texting? hell if i know.

today i also worked on a painting project for my good buddy Mike Shirley! i hope he likes it...i spent a good many hours putting the thing together and it's ADORABLE. i can't wait to give it to him :3

at this point i'm glad to have Lexi, i'm happy not to have to deal with men, and all i wanna do is art and watch Doctor Who. done.